Amber Alert

Missing Girl from North Dakota!  You never know where this post could end up and I'm not going to stop passing this one around if it means a little girl can be found!!! Please spread this picture far and wide.... You just never know. Michelle Marie Smith, Birthdate: 9/10/02 . Answers to Peanut. BEFORE YOU SKIP THIS, LOOK AT THE CHILD. DO IT AGAIN.  NOW SEND IT TO ALL IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK.  IT TAKES 10 SECONDS. PEOPLE ARE MISSING HER AND SHE WANTS TO BE HOME.  DO SOMETHING GOOD. Sue & Barry Wilcox (406) 961-4064 IF YOUR CHILD WAS MISSING WOULDN'T YOU PRAY THAT EVERYONE PASSED THIS EMAIL ON! DO THE RIGHT THING AND LOOK AND FORWARD!

 

PLEASE COPY AND PASTE TO YOUR EMAIL CONTACTS

THANK YOU 

Parent- Job Description

Job Description  - PARENT 

 

 This is hysterical.

 

If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!

POSITION TITLE:

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma,

  Old Girl   
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Old Man, Old Boy

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.

Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!

Travel expenses not reimbursed.

Extensive courier duties also required.

 TERM OF EMPLOYMENT:

 

The rest of your life.

 

 RESPONSIBILITIES:

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $20.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

None.

Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately.

On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this!  

 

You pay them!

Offering frequent raises and bonuses.

A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.

When you die, you give them whatever is left.

The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Mommy and Daddy, are you meeting my emotional needs?

Hi mom:

I had a dream last night..
dreamed that I was all grown up!
I saw myself but couldn't recognize who I was
Didn't look like me..
Didn't act like me..
Didn't feel like me..
I couldn't understand who I saw????

So I wanted to share my dream
and tell you what I need
So when I grow up
I can be who God made me to be
ME...

I need an accepting mommy and daddy
who will model healthy female and male characteristics

I need to be loved unconditionally
so I can reach out to you with love and have my love accepted

I need to be acknowledged
Received, heard and included, and considered important

I need affirmation, words of encouragement and praise
for my accomplishments and personal characteristics

I need support
Strength and assistance to achieve

I need to trust my mommy and daddy
To rely on you to meet my emotional and physical needs as I mature

I need knowledge and Instruction
at the level of my inquiries

I need safe and nurturing touch
Without fear of pain or invasion

I need direction
Gentle training for my decision making and learning self control

I need active participation and caring
from my significant others

I need time devoted specifically to me
so I know I'm important and matter in your life

I need a sense of security
A peaceful home to enjoy the pure joy of the magic of my childhood

I need a comfortable routine
so my life is predictable and ..

I need the consistency of knowing
that consequences to my actions are based on principle
not emotions..

Finally, I need WINGS!
Freedom at the APPROPRIATE AGE
and maturity level to make my own choices in life...

Ten Month Old Baby Driver Stops Traffic!

Ten month old baby driver shocks the world when he stopped traffic while teaching his mother how to drive!

SAFETY TIP #1: Keep your eyes on the road! Leave the make up at home. You are my mommy and you will always look beautiful to me :)

SAFETY TIP#2: Keep both hands at the 3' and 9 O'clock position. Don't worry about the mess I'm making in the back..your car will never be clean again!

SAFETY TIP #3: Always be aware of your surrounding traffic, you'll never know when a crazy Paramedic ambulance comes flying through the intersection!

SAFETY TIP#4: Always keep your hand on the wheel..Yes, even if you're turning your head to check on the little old Asian lady that just swerved into your lane! You would think she'd have better peripheral vision..LOL!!! :)

"Hey!..what's wrong with that guy..can't you see I'm driving here!..geese!

SAFETY TIP #5: Wear your seat belt..oops! Maybe I should write to Ford and ask them why they haven't invented a seat belt that doesn't cut my circulation off at the neck!

(No..this isn't a Britney Spears brain fart!..These were taken at a Parking lot) :)

Should Children witness Child Birth?

Some of you may not know this, I was a Paramedic and worked in EMS for over 10 years before my back injury. While on medical leave is when I had my son, Jordan. I miss my work, so when ever I get the opportunity to live my Paramedic experiences vicariously through these, I love to share them!



Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place ........spank his butt again!'








If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you.

Raising a child with Character and Integrity

Begin in infancy: Parents are in a great degree responsible for the mold given to the character of their children. It is our solemn duty to train our children to right habits and behavior. The parents work must begin in infancy, so they may receive the right impress of character or else the world may put its stamp on their mind and heart.

The importance of the first three years: The first three years is the time in which to bend the tiny twig. Moms should understand the importance attaching this period. It is here where their foundation is laid.

Proper words of commendation: Whenever you can speak a word of commendation for your child's conduct, you should do so. You should encourage them by words of approval (not flattery) and looks of love. These will be a sunshine to the heart of a child and will lead to the cultivation of self-respect and pride of character rather than self-centeredness and selfishness.

A day of reckoning for parents: Happy are the parents who are a true reflection of the divine, so that the promises of God awaken in your child gratitude and reverence. The parents whose tenderness and justice and long-suffering interpret to to your child the love, justice and long-suffering of God, and who by teaching your child to love, trust and obey you, you are teaching your child to love, trust and obey their Father in heaven. When parents and children meet at the final reckoning, what a scene it will be :)

Losing baby phat! Mommy-robics for the busy mom

         

Hi everyone! Thank you all for joining in my discussion "Daddy wants his sexy mama back". I got so many useful tips, and links that I thought I'd put it all together for all the busy moms out there on their quest to lose the baby phat!

Let me start by saying that my hubby doesn't care how much I weigh!! This is my quest to get healthy and have the energy to enjoy my son and my hubby! Like RTBjr73 said " The number one reason is to get healthy and to set a good example for our kids"

For starters; I got inspired by my blogger friend Gretchen-she's a mom on a mission! I was so impressed with her perseverance and focus. She's made such an amazing progress!! Kinda jealous to tell you the truth! :) I thought I should join her quest!

• 

  Searchingwithin brought up a good point! Drink water! HYDRATE, HYDRATE, HYDRATE! There's no better way to help the body process fat than by drinking water instead of sodas and high sugared juices!! ( I gained 25lbs in my first trimester due to drinking "natural sodas"!)..J-LO booty or not, that is just way too much weight to gain at once!

  
  

• All you need is 10 MINUTES! Christinebean is a firm believer of the "The ten minute solution" with Pilates. Busy mommy or not, you are worth TEN MINUTES!

  
  
• Finally, Mayjah has the most creative post on exercising while multi-tasking! What a better way to exercise while you are on the computer, or washing dishes or even, yes..while watching "Desperate housewives" on TV!! She did mention that you may be suddenly attacked by your other half while doing some of these!  I agree!
  
  
  So, without further adew... here is my version of

MOMMY-ROBICS

CARDIO: Grab a set of your favorite tunes, load them up to your ipod or Mp3 player, put on some sexy workout gear, put your baby on his stroller/wagon/bike seat and head for a stroll around your neighborhood. While your walking and listening to some upbeat music you accomplish two things: It BOOSTS UP YOUR MOOD and it provokes you to WALK FASTER! Jog if you like the challenge of pushing the stroller on an uphill!! That will get your legs warmed up real fast! (Sexy workout gear is for psychological motivation ladies, not meant for flirting with your neighbor! ;)

LEG LIFTS/TUMMY TUCK (lower abdominal pooch)

A. Start flat on the floor, baby rests on top of your feet.  

Good to start with feet touching the floor.

B. Raise your legs so that knees are bent at 90 degree angle.  Use your stomach muscles to lift.

So far I can only do 2 sets/of 10 on all these..But you can shoot for more!!

J-LO HINEY TIGHTENER-UPPERS (say that ten times fast)

A. Start with lower back flat on 

the floor. Use baby on your stomach as resistant weight.  He has fun watching you sweat!

B. Use your butt muscles to lift your torso into a straight line with your legs.  SQUEEZE 

THEM BUTT CHEEKS!

MOMMY PUSH-UPS ( arm flab, booby boost )

A. Start with knees bent, place baby under you so you're forced to lift your weight :) Elbows bent. Stomach and back in a straight line.

B. Lift to straighten elbows, give your baby a smile! keep knees bent at 90 degree angle, HOLD!

 

BABY BENCH PRESS/Low tummy tuck 

A. Start with feet and back flat on floor. Lift baby up "Super Boy!"

He'll like flying.

B. As you lower baby, lift legs off the floor as you extend them. Repeat (don't forget-BREATHE)

CORE STABILIZATION (Tummy tuck)

A. Start belly side down, up on elbows at 90 degree angle. Tips of toes facing down and ankle at 90 degree angle.

B. Lift your weight off the floor on the tips of your toes and elbows. Use Abdominal muscles to lift your core.  KISS BABY!!

And there goes your ten minutes!! Not long but effective, specially when you're using an 19 lbs weight!!  I can guarantee your baby will have a blast and you will be sore in the morning!  You're other half may have to sit it out for a few nights :(  But it's worth it at the end.

Stay tunned for follow up posts.  Feel free to grab my widget on your way out to keep up with my next post on this quest.   Don't forget to leave your link if you wanna join and play!!

I'm bringing Sexy back!

Here's a mama on a mission. After watchin Gretchen and her amazing progress, I've decided to join her on the mission to LOSE THE BABY PHAT!

I was 130 Lbs...after baby Jordan I am now a sexy 160 Lbs.. That's right! I am not afraid to tell you my weight! I am sexy and I know it!! :) I just want to fit into my size 6 jeans again!!

Why should I go out and buy a whole new wardrobe to fit my J-Lo hiney in a size 13 pants!

Want to join me?? post a comment and leave your link.. We can do it together!!

C'mon on ladies.. Daddy wants his sexy mama back!!!

Thought of the day

Reach up as far as you can today

and Heaven will reach down

the rest

of the way...

Like father like son..Photoblog

Hat heads..

Like father like son...Two peas in a pod

WHY GOD MADE PETS

TO TEST THE WATERS

TO PICK US UP WHEN WE'RE DOWN

TO SHOW US HOW TO RELAX

TO LOOK AFTER THE LITTLE ONES

TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN

TO HELP AROUND THE HOUSE

..AND TO GIVE US A GOOD LAUGH WHEN WE NEED ONE!

Kids and Pets Photoblog

Like kid...like pet..How funny!!

I just joined PayPerPost and made $20!!

As a stay-home mom, I have been looking for and weeding through hundreds of ways to make money from home. I have weeded through so many Internet scams and "get rich quick schemes", but non have delivered.

I started blogging as a way to network and find out ways to connect with other parents who needed to make money from home too.

I stumbled upon a blog that had a payperpost link and what I read was so simple and easy to do that I could barely believe I had actually found a fun, legitimate way to make some cash. The best part- you get to write about the things you want and get paid for it!! I can't imagine an easier way to earn money blogging.

The site is so easy to navigate through and there are different ways you can chose to make your cash through payperpost . So take it from someone who is tired of being scammed and has gotten really good at recognizing legitimate opportunities, this is the place to go if you want to make money with your blog!

Good luck, I hope you have great success!! I just made $20 just for writing this post! It's that easy!

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO DO TO KEEP YOUR KIDS SAFE FROM PREDATORS?

First of, let me start by saying that for those of you who participated in the poll, it was not meant to offend you or to demean your parenting skills. It is a means to bring some awareness to parents who may take their kids safety for granted because of the confidence we have in ourselves of being good parents.

We have to humble ourselves to the possibility that no matter how pro-active we are, how prepared we are in "case of an emergency", how much time we have spent getting to know our neighbors and the people surrounding our children's community, how much money we have spent in teaching our children how to defend themselves, and how much research you've done in the Internet or your neighborhood to make sure that there are no SEX OFFENDERS NEAR YOU; THERE IS ALWAYS THE POSSIBILITY OF SOMEONE LURKING IN THE SHADOWS WAITING FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO LURE YOUR CHILD TO DANGER, IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM.

(ASSUMING YOU ARE A RESPONSIBLE AND PRO-ACTIVE PARENT): Let me share some scenarios with you.

SCENARIO 1: You have attended church and have known your minister all your life. In fact, your minister is a personal close friend of the family (if not part of your family). Your daughter (or son) is now blooming and growing and is now 10 to 13 years old. When your daughter is 33, you find out, your well trusted minister had molested and abused your daughter.

SCENARIO 2: You are a pro active parent and have made sure you know where your kids are at all times by checking up on them and calling the place where they're supposed to be. On their way home, a van drives by and takes your child by force. Despite their best efforts to put all those karate lessons to use, they are subdued and kidnapped. Despite the Police's best effort to find your child, your son or daughter was never found.

SCENARIO 3: You are having a picnic at the park with your family and closest, most trusted friends or neighbors. Everyone is having fun, and you are diligent about keeping an eye out on your child. Suddenly, someone scored a touchdown and everyone cheers, you turn your head for a split second and when you look back, your child has vanished! You find out 10 years later that your child had been abducted by a person that lived only a block away from your house. The Police never had "Just cause" to search his house.

If you were one of these parents, (THESE ARE TRUE EVENTS BY THE WAY). Wouldn't you wish there would have been a way you could've had an advantage over that kidnapper or predator where you AND the police could've had a way to track where you child was; and maybe just maybe, given your son or daughter a better chance of being found or recovered that you otherwise wouldn't have had if it had not been for that little safety device you placed on your child's watch or bracelet.

WOULDN'T YOU CONSIDER THAT POSSIBILITY?? PUTTING YOUR PRIDE ASIDE, WOULDN'T YOU RATHER BE SAFE THAN SORRY????

HERE ARE SOME KIDNAPPING FACTS

STOMACH VIRUS OR FOOD ALLERGY? DOCTOR'S TEXTBOOK KNOWLEDGE VS. MOTHER'S INSTINCTS

Jordan has been vomiting for a week. Doctors pawned it off as a "Stomach virus". (Without any blood test may I add). Ever since Jordan broke out with his Allergies, all I've keep hearing from Doctors is "He's too young to have allergies" "Kids this age do not develop food allergies"..Hmmm.. Let me recap:

Fed Jordan milk based formula at 2 1/2 months

Response: Projectile vomiting/No diarrhea

Fed Jordan Milk based product at 4 months

Response: Projectile vomiting/No diarrhea

Virus or Allergic Response? at 7 months

Whole family: Projectile vomiting AND diarrhea

Fed Jordan Wheat Crackers (Both times he ate wheat crackers) at 9 months

Response: Projectile vomiting/No diarrhea

TOP 8 ALLERGY FOODS

WHEAT

MILK

EGGS

PEANUTS

TREE N

UTS

SOY

FISH

SHELLFISH

IS IT A COINCIDENCE THAT EVERY TIME I INTRODUCE A NEW FOOD THAT IS ON THIS LIST HE HAS AN IMMEDIATE VIOLENT REACTION?? Could it be possible that just maybe he is one of those babies who falls in that 1 percentile category of children who develop early allergies? My OBGYN didn't want to discuss the procedures in case Jordan had Meconium or the cord wrapped around his neck because in her years of experience delivering over 2000 babies, she never had that happen. Well, it happened to Jordan (All of the above). THERE IS ALWAYS A FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING RIGHT?..

HOW TO RECOGNIZE ALLERGY OR INTOLERANCE TO FOOD

(will appear few min to few hours after offending food)

NAUSEA

VOMITING

DIARRHEA

ITCHING ( throat,mouth,eyes, skin, and/or ears

LIP SWELLING

RASH (Hives or flare-up of eczema)

THROAT TIGHTNESS

TROUBLE SWALLOWING OR BREATHING

TONGUE SWELLING THAT OBSTR

UCTS AIRWAY

CHEST PAIN

DIZZINESS

SUDDEN PALENESS OR BLUISH SKIN

UNCONSCIOUSNESS

FAINT PULSE

UN-AROUSABLE (can't be woken up)

TIPS AND SUGGESTIONS:

IF YOUR BABY STARTS VOMITING (NON-STOP)

1. Don't panic!
2. PROTECT YOUR BABY'S AIRWAY FROM ASPIRATION (sit him up or roll him on his left side during episode)
3. Allow his stomach to settle, do not try to feed him or force feed him right away
4. Contact your doctor to let him know your baby's condition
5. Try to replace fluids with Pedialite or formula or breast milk
6. If baby refuses to eat, feed 1-2 oz of Pedialite every 15-30 min for long term vomiting ( Or whatever baby will allow you to feed) to treat/prevent dehydration.
7. If your baby displays any of the above signs or symptoms call 911 or take him to Emergency room right away.

(REMEMBER: THIS ARE TIPS AND SUGGESTIONS, THESE ARE NOT MEANT TO REPLACE YOUR DOCTORS RECOMMENDATIONS)

Main thing to remember is: You're the mom (parent). You know your child best. Follow your instincts and if you feel there is something wrong: ERR ON THE SIDE OF SAFETY. Otherwise, treat with soft and tender care. There is nothing that makes a a child feel better than the loving arms of his/her mother (parent).

LIFE'S DEFINITION OF MOTHERHOOD

This is for the mothers who have sat up
all night with sick toddlers in their arms,
wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer
wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying,
'It's okay honey, Mommy's here.'
Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end

soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at
work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains
on their blouses and diapers in their purse.
For all the mothers who run carpools and
make cookies and sew Halloween costumes.
And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to
babies they'll never see. And the mothers
who took those babies and gave them homes.
This is for the mothers whose priceless art
collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.
And for all the mothers who froze their buns

on metal bleachers at football, soccer or softball games

instead of watching from the warmth of their cars.

And that when their kids asked, 'Did you see me, Mom?'

they could say, 'Of course, I wouldn't
have missed it for the world,' and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids

in the grocery store and swat them in despair

when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner.

And for all the mothers who count to ten instead,

but realize how child abuse happens.
This is for all the mothers who sat down with
their children and explained all about making
babies. And for all the (grand)mothers who
wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go
hungry, so their children can eat.
For all the mothers who read 'Goodnight,
Moon' twice a night for a year. And then
read it again, 'Just one more time.'
This is for all the mothers who taught
their children to tie their shoelaces before
they started school. And for all the mothers
who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons
to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.
This is for every mother whose head turns

automatically when a little voice calls 'Mom?'
in a crowd, even though they know their
own offspring are at home -- or even away
at college -- or have their own families.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids
to school with stomach aches, assuring them
they'd be just FINE once they got there, only
to get calls from the school nurse an hour later
asking them to please pick them up. Right away.
This is for mothers whose children have gone
astray, who can't find the words to reach them.

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they
bleed when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.
For all the mothers of the victims of
recent school shootings, and the mothers
of those who did the shooting.
For the mothers of the survivors,

and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror,

hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their
children to be peaceful, and now pray
they come home safely from a war.
What makes a good mother anyway?

Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips?

The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and
sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?
Or is it in her heart?

Is it the ache she feels when she
watches her son or daughter disappear
down the street, walking to school alone
for the very first time?

The jolt that takes her from sleep to
dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put
her hand on the back of a sleeping baby?
The panic, years later, that comes again
at 2 A.M. when she just wants to hear
their key in the door and know they
are safe again in her home?
Or the need to flee from wherever she is
and hug her child when she hears news
of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are
universal and so our thoughts are for
young mothers stumbling through diaper
changes and sleep deprivation...
And for mature mothers learning to let go.
For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.
Single mothers and married mothers.
Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all. For all of us...
Hang in there. In the end we can
only do the best we can. Tell them
every day that we love them. And pray
and never stop being a mother...
Please pass along to all the mothers in your life.
'Home is what catches you when
you fall - and we all fall.'
Please pass this to a
wonderful mother you know.

Newborn's conversation with God

A baby asked God:

They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?

God said,

'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.'
The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.'

God said,

'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'
Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?'

God said,

'Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.'
'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?'

God said,

'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.
'Who will protect me?'

God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.'
'But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.'
God said,

'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked,

'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.'

God said,

'You will simply call her, 'Mom.'

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. 2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. 1. We're related.
2. 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. 1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess she would be pretty bossy.
3. 3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. 1. His last name.
2. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him .
3. 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?

1. 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend' s.
4. 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. 1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. 1. On the inside, she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. 2. Dye it. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.